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Engaging stories of love, joy, comfort and friendship with proven scrumptious, healthy recipes, we celebrate LOVE as the secret ingredient for wonderful food!

JUNE 18

July 14, 2017 by Mary 18 Comments

June 18th is emblazoned in my mind.

We could not conquer my husband’s Stage 4 kidney cancer.

Steve passed on Sunday, Father’s Day, June 18th at 2 pm, surrounded by our sons, their wives and me. As he took his last breath, the Mets’ pitcher hit a home run. Seriously.

Steve loved baseball. The Orioles were his team (being from Baltimore) and the Mets were his NY team with our sons.

We had 10 weeks to say goodbye. He was diagnosed on March 31st. And in the beginning, we really thought we could beat this. 

I have been putting off writing this post.

Maybe, I’ve been thinking, if I don’t write about it, it won’t be true. We spent nearly 41 years together. I met him when I was very young. We were partners in LOVE, business, parenting and most of all, best friends who made each other laugh, a lot.

Now, the quiet and the evenings are the worst. I play music loud at night. The other day I was folding towels and some of his underwear I had just washed and dried (why, I’m not sure) and thought, oh, he’s just in the next room…and then I realized no, sobbing, he is not in the next room.

We all tried so hard. After Steve’s last hospital stay, our oldest and his wife appeared at the front door with suitcases in hand to move in with us to help care for him. Zach and Agata followed two days later, arriving from Poland.

Our oldest son came up with a “magic water” recipe to get him to drink more. It was filtered room temperature water with a teaspoon of coconut oil and five drops of pure peppermint oil. He loved it. We were constantly making and serving him bone broth, as his mouth was so dry, it was painful to eat. Our bone broth was soothing, full of nutrients and delicious. The secret? Cook it a long, long time in a 200 degree oven – 24 hours for chicken broth, 48 for beef or lamb broth.

He came home that last time with two PIC’s for intravenous nourishment, steroids, saline and heparin. We could all become RN’s at this point – even with Zach watching through FaceTime on the computer from Poland, very late into night, before catching his flight here.

At his memorial service the following Wednesday, over 200 people showed up, with the minister stopping the eulogies after 15 people spoke, as we were going way overtime. We had a jazz trio play and it was truly a celebration of his life. Our meditation piece was Take Five from Dave Brubeck.

I have received so many notes, phone calls and email comments about how wonderful the service was and even an interest in our Unitarian Church. Yes, it is an all-encompassing faith that respects all beliefs and acknowledges that we are all connected and part of the interdependent web of life. A few famous Unitarians are John Adams, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, Isaac Newton, and Amelia Earhart.

What is the recipe for a great marriage? Respect and support for each other, clear communication leaving nothing to fester, laughing a lot, and dancing together. Steve was a GREAT dancer!! We danced a lot, clubbing it in the late seventies and just by ourselves lately. We were always complimented on the dance floor at weddings and bar mitzvahs. I think because we were so in tune with each other in life.

We got to have two great sons, lived in the city at first, then Summit, NJ, and then back to the city and country. CollectiveIy, we started four new businesses with our creative juices constantly flowing. I am so very grateful for our full exciting life together, never a dull moment.

My love. My honey. Such a kind, intelligent, creative and fun man who was a terrific father and husband. I miss him so.

And now I am in Poland readying for our younger son’s wedding tomorrow. I kept telling Steve we’d be here together, dancing under the stars. But it was not meant to be.

It’s now time for me to buck it up and be joyful for Zach and Agata. Only the airlines lost my luggage after leaving NYC last Saturday. I was hoping and hoping they’d find it but no luck so now, I need to find a dress for the wedding tomorrow, along with purchasing all other things…

Remember, always cook with LOVE and stay healthy.

Filed Under: Events Tagged With: family, weddings

You never know.

December 8, 2011 by Mary Frances 4 Comments

My father used to say, you never know when your time is up.

You never know.A dear, dear friend of mine collapsed while taking a shower Tuesday morning and died. Just like that. What started as a normal morning, waking her kids for school and getting herself ready for work, has turned the whole world upside down for so many people she knew. I had a meeting and lunch scheduled with her that very day. Our friendship spans the past 35 years, way before husbands and any kids. This has been shocking and unreal.

So tragic, so young and she leaves a wonderful husband, eleven-year old twins (boy and girl) and another son who’s 15.

But as everyone said this morning at her funeral, she lived life to the fullest. Engaging and full of energy, she also loved to cook and entertain. Throwing a dinner party for 35 and more, every holiday was the norm for her.

Together, in the 80’s, with our wide shoulder pads at work, we both cooked our way through the Silver Palate Cookbooks at home, comparing and discussing recipes.

We were both good little Midwest Christian girls who married East Coast Jewish boys. Early in our marriages, we talked about writing a cookbook together – titled: “So you married a nice Jewish boy, now what?” with tips like, don’t even think of serving ham to the in-laws at any time. And green beans with meat at Passover won’t do either, although that one I never understood.

The only lesson I can get out of this tragedy is to tell everyone you love that you love them and do it often. See your friends and family more often. Make the time. I found myself making lunch dates for next week with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. After all, your friends are your family that you choose. Be together, cook for them, gather around the table and celebrate life to the fullest, each and every day.

Filed Under: Dinner Tagged With: children, entertaining, family, friends, kids, life, love, Silver Palatte

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